ONLINER NOTES

(Photo by Doug McKechnie) Joshua Raoul Brody spends most of his time accompanying improvisational theater (True Fiction Magazine; Bay Area Theatresports), sensitive singer- songwriters (Merle "Ian Shoales" Kessler; Kitty Ultrasound) and uncategorizable anomalies (Tonal Chaos; A Karen Carpenter Christmas). On the other hand, he earns most of his income composing for film (Vegas In Space), video (the Playboy Channel's Sexy Urban Legends), and multimedia (Tiny Tank). If you think this was more information than you needed, wait until you see www.jraoul.org.

DIGI7AL 7HUNDER: A**HOLECOUNT:120

Lars Maelstrom and Carl Yippay are the future of modern music. Having met in the shelving section of IKEA, Maelstrom and Yippay rehearsed after-hours in shipping before setting up D7HQ in Maelstromıs basement. After a brief stint gigging at childrenıs birthday parties, D7 made quite a splash at the Elizabeth Bicentennial Parade (behind the Senior Coronet Brigade, right in front of Miss Emmanuelıs Ballet School for Young Girls). They then returned to the basement, where they hope to complete their magnum opus, DIGI7AL 7HUNDER 2002, by sometime in 2009.

CHRISTOPHER GRAY: GILLY BOYD

In 1970, Christopher traded the lead in his first grade X-mas play (Santa Claus) for the one-line ("Whee! Whee! I'm going to bring snow!") character part of the North Wind (cooler costume--more psychologically complex). Since then he has acted, improvised, played guitar, and sung with various groups in New England and Northern California. He currently makes it up as he goes with SNAFU, BATS' Belfry Players, and Tonal Chaos. xophergray@hotmail.com

KARA'S KILLER UKELELE: BODY CAVITY SEARCH

Since 1992, David Norfleet has been improvising music with companies around the U.S. and Canada. During the day, he composes and produces music for film, television, multimedia and installations. From 1995-1998 David was active in New York's improv, live theatre and performance art scene, but recently transplanted himself to San Francisco to start up his own music/sound studio, Seal Rock Music.

jake keklikian: REVOLUTION 2

(photo by corey rosen) eat. drink. create. eliminate.

www.keklikian.com

LOCAL ONE: SWEET NOTHINGS

(Photo by Jeff Yorkes) The NYC-based trio of Brian d'Arcy James, Dan Lipton and Clarke Thorell. Local One explores a wide range of musical genres and is known for its dynamic, theatrical sound. Currently recording their debut album, the video for their single "Teen Pop Star" was a finalist in a recent MTV contest for unsigned bands.

LUNCHBOX: LONG-DISTANCE BOOTY CALL

Lunchbox is the byproduct of swanky hotels in the wrong neighborhoods. Jennifer Kushner and Dan Lipton have a long, illustrious career that spans all of 2 songs. Bet you canıt wait to hear the other one!

MB1PRODUCE

(Photo by Sarah Nami Silver) MB1PRODUCE is Dan Lipton and Jeff Yorkes' excuse to create. Create what, exactly? Ripe New Media: music, movies, games, T-shirts, graphic design, poetry and much, much, much much more. And now for some Trivial Trivia! In what film do characters go to the bathroom, talk to themselves in the bathroom, shower, brush their teeth, do drugs, read books, hide, wash hands, and get killed in the bathroom? A hint for all you A**holes: Characters in this film also take it up the A** and hide valuables up there too. Call the MB1 Telezine at 212-502-8MB1 RIGHT NOW to find out! www.MB1PRODUCE.com

DAVID NAGLER: EVERYONE IS A CRITIC

David Nagler is the lead singer, songwriter, and founder of Nova Social, a New York/New Jersey-based eclectic pop-rock group. About their recent "Fingerprints" / "Horse Song Part 1" 7" record, Magnet Magazine wrote, "we can all take comfort in the survival of smart pop." Their debut full-length The Jefferson Fracture will be out later in the year. Nagler is one of the hosts and curators of Nova Nights, a musical variety show at The Den @ Two Boots in NYC's East Village. In addition, he is a Grade A a**hole... big time. www.novasocial.com

BROOKE PROCIDA: INNER BOOTY

Brooke is a singer/songwriter/actress from NY. She graduated from USC in 1995 and has since recorded a CD entitledLight It Up. She has been in various television shows, films and stage productions, most recently on The Sopranos and is co-owner/founder of Greenmock Productions which recently produced its first original work in NYC, Ella Stadler's Master Class. Brooke is sincerely proud to be a Mr. Bagel/MB1PRODUCE A**hole but would like to put the word out to all average A**holes to stop tracking her down and dating her. She is ready to move on.

Hear Brooke's music at cdbaby.com/brookemarie. Photos and Stuff bettydylan.com/brooke.

SLENDER: A**HOLISH QUALITIES

For those of us who have longed for a proper heir to the great heavy metal and punk of the '80s, Slender can only be seen as a gift sent directly from the rock gods above. Since their inception in 1996, they have forged new ground in unlikely places, infusing their catchy pop sensibilities with hard rock and heavy metal-- emerging as something wholly their own. The San Francisco-based quartet consists of Rod Damnit (lead singer and official band hellraiser), Kent Carter (bass), Joe Martinez (drums) and the guitar-slinging Clint Grubb. slenderco.com, guaporecords.com

STEVEN ROSEN: ASHOK SHAH

(Slip Jenkins with Steve, circa 1993) Steven Rosen is an actor, writer, motivational speaker, sketch comedian and office lackey. He has been seen on the TV show ED and in the Todd Solondz project STORYTELLING. With his sketch comedy group Utah Arm, Steve has appeared at various New York comedy venues; most notably, Carnegie Hall. Steve feels partly responsible for the A**HOLE MONOLOGUES because it was his very own asshole that inspired his brother Corey to produce it.

SURELY YOU JONES: THE A**HOLE THAT GOT HUNG UP

Surely You Jones is David Rossmer and Ken Triwush. The startling new musical genre they have pioneered - "Pirate Rock" - is taking the nation by storm. PirateHeads are popping up everywhere from Tulsa to Minneapolis and the band is soon to be featured on the cover of Torso magazine. Triwush and Rossmer began putting their permanent mark on music a year ago. They met as actors on the Broadway National Tour of Titanic, and became quick enemies, then friends, then enemies again, then lunch, then friends again, then writing partners. Surely You Jones will be releasing its debut album this fall. drossmer@aol.com

OVAN DEEVUS: DO NOT ENTER (THE SONG OF MY A**HOLE)

Ovan Deevus is a writer and performer living in Los Angeles. Ovan can be seen on stage at The ImprovOlympic Theatre and with the Comedy Dojo Players . An a**hole himself, Ovan is honored to be included amongst such distinguished a**holes to aid a worthy cause.

Special thanks to Michael Gigante.

B.D. WONG: A**HOLE

(Photo by Sarah Nami Silver) NY Stage: You're A Good Man Charlie Brown (Broadway), As Thousands Cheer (Drama Dept.), A Language of Their Own (NYSF); Face Value; The Tempest (Roundabout); M. Butterfly (Outer Critics' Circle, Theatre World, Clarence Derwent, Drama Desk and Tony Award). Stock/Regional: The Nanjing Race (McCarter Theater); Herringbone (American Music Theatre Festival); Peter Pan (Kansas City Starlight); Bondage (Actors' Theatre of Louisville). Film: Mulan; Seven Years in Tibet; The Substitute II; Slappy and the Stinkers; Executive Decision; Jurassic Park; And the Band Played On; Father of the Bride; The Freshman. TV: ""The X-Files"; "All American Girl"; "Sesame Street," "Law & Order: SVU," "Oz." www.beck.com

ZIPTHUNK!: FELICITY

Take the cleverness and wit of Ben Folds Five and The Barenaked Ladies, combine it with the raw energy of early Cheap Trick, The Pixies, and Green Day and you've got something pretty close to Zipthunk! Comprised of Steve Lavner (guitar and lead vocals), Fred Berman (drums and lead vocals), and Jeff Gurner (bass and backing vocals), the boys' brand of edgy, harmony-driven, punky, power-pop is quickly taking the NYC music scene by storm. Playing manically fun live-shows for anyone who'll listen, the three under-5'7" rockers are answering the question "What ever happened to Rock 'N' Roll?" The answer: Zipthunk! www.zipthunk.com, www.mp3.com/zipthunk